Ohio High School Vampire Party with Laura Jacqmin (TV Writer)
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Zevon Odelberg is a true crime podcast host and disability advocate. Zevon has cerebral palsy and he wants Kinda Murdery to be welcoming community for people with disabilities and for people living with challenges of any kind. Life can be hard, but being together makes it better.
Warning. Kind of Murdery contains adult themes, explicit language, and descriptions of
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Now. Hey, everybody, Zevin here, You're about to hear my
interview with television writer and producer Laura Jackman, and she's going to tell you
an incredible story from her own life, a story of teenage hijinks, lust,
and vampire wannabees in the American Midwest. But before we get started,
I wanted to share with you that Laura is an active member of the Writer's
Guild of America and the Writer's Guild is on strike right now, So out
of respect to her and the striking writers, I want to make a couple
things clear. First, this interview was recorded in September twenty twenty two,
long before the writer's strike began on May second of this year. And second,
Kind of Murdery stands in solidarity with the writers and wishes them well.
And with that, let's start the show. I'm Zevan Odelberg, and this
is kind of Murdery. Please join me as we uncover what truths we can
and solve what mysteries we may. Kind of Murderies Ohio High School Vampire Party
with Laura Jackman starts. Now, Hey, everybody, I'm stoked because I
have a phenomenal human with me here today. She's a woman who's craft and
ability is frankly luminescent, a true triple threat, a playwright, a video
game writer, a television writer, known for such projects as The Tiger King
inspired Peacock's series, Joe Versus, Carol Grayson, Frankie get Shorty, Walking
Dead, video Games, Minecraft Story Mode, and so much more. Honestly,
she has so many impressive credits that I would have cottonmouth by the time
I ended up listing them all. A true tower of talent. Laura Jackman
is here. Hey, Laura, how are you doing? Hey good?
How are you? I am well? I am well, Thank you so
much for joining me here today. Happy to be here. All right,
Well, let's let's hop right into it. You know, this show is
called a kind of murdering and one of the things I like to do.
And if you're willing, is there a kind of murdery story from the wife
of the real life of Lord Jackman that you could share with us? There
is? There is, so I grew up in Shakerheads, Ohio, which
is, you know, like a suburb of Cleveland. So it's northeast Ohio,
relatively city e suburby. But a lot of Ohio is not like that.
A lot of Ohio is you know, cow country or middle of nowhere
or you know, not so much going on. So this is in the
late nineties. I'd say, I don't remember if I was a freshman or
a sophomore, and I had a crush on a goth barista named Gabe who
worked at the coffee shop at the booksellers at Pavilion Mall Rip Booksellers. By
the way, I feel like you're doing the voice over for the very opening
scenes of a Wonder Years esque television show about your own life. As soon
as you said I had a crush on a goth barista named Gabe, I'm
like, I am so there for this for this show. I don't think
tonally this could end up on Wonder Years, but we're going to do our
best. Um. So I found out that Gabe was going to be at
a Halloween party thrown by mutual friends, and like friends are sort of in
quotation marks, so I had a lot of friends who were a few years
older than me, because my sisters are most things in middle school, right.
Oh yeah, so my sister was you know, she was either junior
or senior. I was a freshman or sophomore. Um, okay, so
early high school. So early high school. Um, not quite as scandalous,
right, but I was fundamentally you know, a dork. You're in
the nineties. You're like drinking the top inch off for parents who did drink,
right, you're drinking the top inch off their liquor bottles. Oh yeah,
you're smoking the ditchiest of ditchweed. Um. You know, Yes,
you're from California, so maybe you're Oh I'm well know because I'm from I'm
from the middle of the woods, cow country, California, so I'm right
there with you. Yeah, I mean, maybe our weeds a little better,
but the rest of that is spotting hopes. I don't know the origin
of that stuff, but yeah, it was not great. Um. So
we found out that that Gabe was going to be at this party, and
this party was out in Hinckley, Ohio, middle of nowhere. Right,
you can you can tell from the name Hinkley. Um, this this senior,
I think he was a senior at that point, so he was gonna
be there, and I was like, okay, so somebody we know is
going to be there. The party was thrown. I think I want to
use their regular names because I don't know their last names, right. Party
was thrown by this older couple, so they were probably like what twenty for
named David and Michelle. Yeah, I mean, of course I was immediately
picturing like blue hairs in their seventies when you said older couple is now a
forty been wilder. But the thing about David and Michelle was that they had
a certain reputation as real life vampires. And let me explain that. So
wow, I am loving this. By the way, you get so many,
so many Brownie points for bringing the real life vampire high school circu Clawweed
story to the show. So I hung out with a certain crowd. They
were famous because they had been featured in a book, an actual published book
that I remember reading in the aisles at Borders Books, Rip Borders Books,
and I don't remember the name of the book. I don't remember, but
it was sort of like, these people are part of a community of people
who believe that they are vampires, and what that means is is that they
do ritualistically drink blood from each other. And I was like, oh my
god, We're gonna go to a vampire's halloween. Barty, I'm down.
This is Did your parents know that this is where you were going? Certainly
not? Certainly not so my sister at the time. I don't remember why
she didn't want to go, or maybe she had stuff to do, but
she was mad that I was going out. And at the time, we
shared one pair of combat boots between us. Remember it was the nineties,
but you both had to wear them because that was your style, each of
you. And was your sister older or younger older two two and a half
years older, So basically you stole her combat boots. That would be her
position on this. Politely, I said, I want to wear the boots
tonight and she said no, and I said, why not, you're staying
it, I'm going out. I want the boots. They were from nine
West, by the way. These were not like docks. These were you
know what I mean, right, You could sort of play them off as
combat boots, but they were like just boots leather. Um. Yeah,
I our rooms, our bedrooms were across the hall from each other, and
as I was sort of haranguing her, I had my hand sort of on
the outside edge of her door frame. As I was yelling at her.
She was like, fine, I'll give you the boots, and she slammed
her door, sort of having that torque effect of several of my fingers in
the door, so it like pulled the skin away from the nails. I
scream, Yeah, it was not great, was it? Did You were
your fingers in the crack. They were in the crack, so it was
like, oh my gosh, lucky they didn't get severed off. I mean,
well, they weren't quite that far in, but it hurt, like
how oh my god. Yes, I was screaming and crying whatever. But
of course I was like, I still want to go to this party.
You know, I'm fourteen or fifteen. I want to go to this party.
Right, You're gonna just gonna take a lot more than losing a few
fingers to stop you from going to the real life vampires Halloween blood drinking party
in Ohio. Ye, So you know, I iced it. I told
my mom, I'm fine, I'm fine. I put on the combat boots,
and the plan was we were gonna go over to our friend Tony Barry's
house, who was also an incredibly cool goff because her mom was chill.
And when were you off at this point? Were you like makeup and pouting
in the whole deal? I was not all the way, but I was,
Oh God, you have to remember, this is a time when,
like, I mean, you were the same age. So um, I
definitely was. On my first day of freshman year, I had bleached my
hair blonde over the summer, which infuriated my father. I was wearing long
fake nails that I had painted black. I was wearing this. I was
wearing like all black flare. You know, I wasn't all black whatever.
I didn't do like the pale makeup because I'm pretty pale to start with.
That's already applied naturally by God. Yeah, but no, I mean my
freshman year yearbook pick, I'm wearing like copper lipstick. I mean it's hideous.
It's hideous. It's funny because I mean, I must have met you
software year or something in because to me, you look like you have not
aged a day. You look exactly as I recall you in college spirit kind
of you. Yeah, I wanted to be seen as older, I wanted
to be seen as mature, and I thought that all black would help with
that, you know, and having crushes on goth bristas. So we get
to Tony's house and the plan is like, we're going to borrow her clothes
because she had cooler goth clothes than we did. She had the full Wednesday
atoms in the closets, the whole thing, the ripped fish nets, the
fish net gloves, the black lipsticks, the all this stuff nice. So
we get all dressed up and the plan was is the cover story was we're
sleeping over at her house, but in reality, we're going to go out
to this party that's an hour away. You know, it's funny because,
as you say, the plan was we're sleeping at her house. It makes
me think of stranger things and how these kids are like busy saving the world
and almost dying on a daily basis, and the parents are just so blissfully
oblivious to what's actually going on. Fast forward to now where everyone, at
least everyone I know, including my wife and I are some version of a
helicopter parent who practically has like an elf on the shelf, like glued into
their children's clothing and not. But but it makes me think, like trainer
things is a lot more accurate than I think it is watching as a parent,
because you're absolutely right. When we were kids, you could just be
like, mom, dad, I'm going to blahla la la, I'll be
back well and they'd be like okay, bye, oh yeah, oh yeah
no. And you you know, as a teenage girl you had to get
so creative because you couldn't kiss boys at the parents house, right, so
you quickly learned. You were like, well, if it's the winter,
there's a there's a little what do you call a little gazebo at the nature
center that they can't see from the road, or they're is this church parking
lot that you can go and park at. Yeah, and your parents are
just kind of like, did you have a nice time, And you're like,
uh huh going upstairs, Huh, everything's fine. It's so funny that
you mentioned that, because yes, absolutely had. We had our own gazebos.
It was actually duck blinds. At the nature preserve. There was a
bird sanctuary that was actually, of course the water treatment plant, and that
was one of the few places you could go walking with someone and eventually achieve
a modicum of privacy. So I love how you know here. I am
California, you're in Ohio. But we're the same age and had roughly the
same childhood, it sounds like. So that's wonderful, even with the gender
difference. That everything absolutely and usually I got caught at almost everything, but
this party I did not get caught. So we drive the hour out to
Hinckley. It's cold, right, because in Ohio often it's it's snowing the
week that's freezing atween West. Yeah, So we drive out there and we
get to what is a pretty normal suburbany house and I kind of walk in
and so I did know four total people there, right. I knew Tony,
I knew my friend Kat, I knew this other guy who was the
mutual friend, and I knew Gabe a little bit, although I think Gabe
was like not there for a big chunk of the party. So it's an
immediate disappointment when you're a crush does not show at the place they're supposed to
be. The babe was the babe with his long black hair. Um,
so you know, I'm trying to hang at this party. I am historically
unable to hang. Um, that has been just the story. I mean
the number of college stories I could tell you about trying to punch above my
weight and just um, just be cool and still, and the number of
blunt passing competitions with ten dudes passing four blunts around and me being like I
can hang and falling asleep in a pizza place and being escorted home by consoles.
Um cannot hang. So I quickly realize, oh, everyone's drinking at
this party. And I was still, you know, nervous and fourteen or
fifteen, but I was like, oh, but they do have something that
is liquor, but not which is BlackBerry brandy? Right, which is any
of those things? It's like kool aid with alcohol in it. So I
start drinking BlackBerry brandy. I am not long for this party because two things,
all that sugar, all that you know, probably empty stomach. You
know, there's like Cheetos at the party, something like that. Um.
I check their fridge because I'm looking for something that's not BlackBerry brandy to drink,
and I check the freezer and in the freezer again, I'm sure that
this is like, you know, some pretentia, you know, because they're
vampires, right. They literally had blood in the freezer. They had very
like bags of blood zip black bags labeled frozen. You know, obviously,
like now that I'm older, I can be like, oh, this is
like this affectation of theirs that this is not like pretty horrifying though, either
any way you slice it, whether it's an affectation or not. I mean
you're like, I'm looking for a non alcoholic drink and my options are Type
O negative or AB positive. Yeah. Great, Yeah, so that was
unsettling. And then Tony, because this is pretty cell phone right, So
Tony, we've been at the party a little while, Tony calls her mom
to check in. Except Tony's mom says, hey, so Laura's mom called.
She's worried about her because remember, by the way, I'm in some
stupid all black ensemble plus a massive bandage around three of my fingers because they
got fourteen years old basically, and I'm yeah, I'm yeah. Son.
Tony's mom is like, her mom is going to pick her up at midnight,
and we were like, fuck, oh my god, we're an hour
away in Hinckley and it's already like ten thirty. So did Tony's mom know
that you guys were at the party. I mean, you were supposed to
be at Tony's house, but they're to Okay, Tony's parents were cool.
They were chill. They were chill. They knew the whole deal. They
knew the deal. And and you know, she was a couple of years
older than I was, so they were chill. Ironically, you know,
the chill parents make me feel like you guys were much safer than I felt
a moment ago, like, even though other parents might disapprove the fact that
there were a set of adults that actually knew where you guys were and what
you were up to, like few. By the way, your audio has
gotten not mine, but your audio has gotten weirdly distorted. Oh you know,
I think, um, I think that I was just getting excited and
leaning forward and moved away from my MIC. Is better. It's like buzzy,
I didn't know if that was I wanted to warn you. Okay,
Well, the good news is most of the worthwhile things being said are being
said by you, and I can always adr my own stuff, So let's
just keep going along. This is a wonderful story. By the way,
I have to say I mean, you're you're such an accomplished storyteller. I
suppose I should have had, you know, massive expectations, but you've just
blown me away with how incredible this story I was not expecting, like real
life frozen Ohio vampires with refrigerators full of blood, severed fingers. This,
I mean, this couldn't get any better or any more murdery. So please
you find out you're about to get caught by your mom for being at the
Vampire Covin got it. So all of a sudden, we're making the calculus,
which is it's going to take an hour to get home. She's peaking
me up at midnight. It's already like, you know, ten thirty something,
right, And just at this point was when Gabe arrived, and very
quickly it turned into you know, they were going to a bunch of people
were going to go out and play. I don't know, if you know
now it's something that you would call LARPing. Right at the time, it
might have just been just live action role playing for anyone who's actually cool listening
to this. So maybe it was Eiven like there is like a the Vampire
larp, or maybe it was something more casual than that. Probably Anne Rice.
If this was the nineties, I'm sure it was Anne Rice related,
I would guess definitely. So I was like heartbroken because Kat was like,
no problem, I'll drive you back and then I will drive back to the
party. Because when you're like in seventeen, Yeah, when you're seventeen in
Ohio, it's like you have nothing else to do, right, then drive
forty miles and then forty miles again. Right. So I'm like saying my
goodbyes and I'm super bummed because my crush just got there, but nothing's going
to happen. I'm also like, again, fourteen, so what And by
the way, have you up to this point have you had any interactions with
Gabe that have made you optimistic about your your prospects here or is it just
pure fantasy that somehow he was going to sweep you up into his undead arms
and vampire kiss you into the night. I feel like there had been several
run ins at the bookstore where it's like, you know how when you're a
teenager and you encounter someone and you order a drink and they're nice to you,
You're like, we have a connection. This is this is and I
think I did ask for his number, Like I think I did have his
number, so it wasn't completely based on false hope. There was something so
Laura. I think when you say when you're a teenager, you're saying that
because you're a woman. I just want to give you a little insight into
the male psyche. Please. The way we work is, anytime any female
is even remotely polite to you, speaks, smiles, says hello, you're
like, oh my god, she loves me. She wants me bad.
So men never grow out of that false hope presumption phase, which is why
so many of us are like weird, creepy jerks, because we're like,
oh, if you treat me like a human being, you must be in
love with me, because I only treat people that I'm in love with like
human beings. So yeah, accurate, accurate. So you know I was
in love with him, and who knows, I will never know how Gabe
really felt. Well, something does happen that we'll give you some indication.
So I'm saying, mikeabyes at his party, I'm drinking BlackBerry brandy and David,
remember David, one of the vampires, one of the real life vampires,
one of the real life vampires. So another thing I had found out
was that they have an open relationship. Now in twenty twenty two, I
know more people who are like, that's our deal, and I'm like,
go with God, that's that works for you. Have fun with that.
Back in the nineties, this was not a This was not really a thing
that I necessarily understood or believed or whatever. Even now, I think it
rarely works out. I mean, one of those doors is usually far more
open than the other one. Let's put it that way. It seems to
be the case again for folks who it works for. Great awesome. Yea.
So David starts chatting me up and saying, it's that sucks, like
we just got to you, we're getting to know you, and I'm so
sorry you have to leave the party, and I'm so you' that man,
that hand that looks really bad, that's so bad. That must have given
you some goth street cred. The injury, the bandages, I mean,
you would think, but you're you just look like you're wrapped in toilet paper
with your bandage stuffs. So, by the way, is David how one
of the is he underage? Like you or is he a full on adult
chatting you up. It's a full on adult. Again. It's the nineties,
right, so what I'm about to tell you can be cushioned a little
by the fact that it is the nineties. But what David does when he
says I'll let me hug you goodbye, is instead he goes for a full,
open mouthed kiss, right, And in my shock, I drop the
glass of BlackBerry brandy, which shatters all over the suburban basement floor, which
in retrospect is a very good defense mechanism when you're like, I'm being kissed
by a vampire, and that's can sign up for that. I'm not a
trauma vampire pedophile standards today. Yeah, it's hilarious. Maybe it's because I
grew up then, but I don't feel like the nineties was that long ago,
and like he shouldn't have been open mouth kissing a fifteen year old girl
in the basement. I don't disagree with you. I do not disagree with
you, hence my shock, right right. But also I got my revenge
because some of the broken glass got him. And also I think I ruined
his vampire pants a little bit because BlackBerry Brandy stands nice, and you might
have peaked Gabe's interest even more if you know, if we'd got out that
the host vampire was slot into me. Yes, it was into the fifteen
year old. So you know, we leave, Kat and I leave,
We drive back home. I'm weirdly exhilarated because I did sneak out to a
party, get home, never get caught. My mom picks me up at
midnight, suspects nothing, neverthewiser. She never found out. A Monday at
school, I find out after I left, Gabe hooked up with my friend
Tony. And I wait, the friend that you went there with explicitly to
try to get with Gabe? Yes, that be I know I was.
I was very sad, but also she was so cool. They had matching
clothes and hair I could not. So did you just kind of feel like
it was inevitable? Like were you mad at Tony about this? Or were
you just like ash? She always gets the voice, Oh not really,
you're just your semi heartbroken and then you're like, what about that boy in
my English class? And okay, so you remain friends with Tony after this?
I did, and then she graduated and then I stopped being a goth
and you know, but I'll always have that vampire party in Hinkley, Ohio.
That's an amazing story and amazing memory. I have to ask you now,
as far as the the guy who open mouth kissed you all of a
sudden, much to your shock, do you is that a traumatic memory or
did it kind of make it mean? There might even more awesome I imagine?
Right, So it's weirdly sort of in between where when you are fourteen
or fifteen, any person showing interest in you, when you're so full of
you're just like vibrating with like, will somebody like me? And will somebody
you know? Is a little bit bolstering. But also it was not something
that I could pretend to be cool with R and then instantly and then instantly,
even though he had been oh my god, he's a vampire and he's
so cool and this is his house party, instantly you're kind of like,
uh, you're one of those. So then he just stops being cool,
and then you just realize, oh, you're just a creep. You're just
a creep with a wife and blood Fraser who tried to right, Yeah,
right, And that's something I'm glad you were able to instantly realize that it
speaks to your maturity and intelligence. I feel like when I was in high
school, there were always like the hot, cool, mature girl who was
somewhere between like a junior or a senior, who inevitably had and again,
like you said, the nineties, inevitably had like a thirty year old boyfriend
who went to junior college and she was hot and cool, but he was
such a loser who This is an archetype that kept repeating in life, and
you always want to say to those fifteen sixteen year old girls, like,
look, he's with you because he literally cannot get women his own age.
He lives in his mother's basement and he's fishing with dynamite because of what you
just describe, which is at that age, what did you say, you're
you're vibrating with somebody? Please like, like say it again. I don't
want to put words in your mouth. But that was so smart on yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, So that's that's the thing, right.
No, it's a horror story you as a dad, to you as a
dad, that's a horror story. To me. Absolutely, I was like
this is this is this is a story and that's the thing. I think.
Even at that point, I was like, this whole night is just
so wild and again, nothing super you know, it's not like the plot
of Book Smart. It's not like super Bad. But for me, I
was like, well, this is as good as it guess. Yeah.
Well, and you know, any kind of edgy experience like that that doesn't
in d horribly generally ends up being a good memory, because I mean,
what are our lives about a collection of stories, you know, and what
a fantastic story that is. But yeah, to your point, as a
father, I'm sitting here thinking like, some guy just put some guy who
drinks human blood for fun, just put his open mouth all over my daughter's
face. Yep, yep. Yes, Oh what a story. Wow.
That was one of the best, if not the best guest kind of murdery
story we have ever had on this show. I'm so glad, Laura,
thank you so much for being here with me today. I've had such a
blast. I know our listeners are going to really enjoy it. Like I
said, that story you just told was off the charts good and I just
really appreciate you taking the time to connect with me here today on a kind
of murdery. You're so welcome was so much fun, awesome for Laura Jackman.
I'm Zevan Odelberg and this has been kind of murdery.
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