Ohio High School Vampire Party with Laura Jacqmin (TV Writer)

0:00 Warning. Kind of Murdery contains adult themes, explicit language, and descriptions of violence. It is not suitable for anyone, and we recommend you stop listening. Now. Hey, everybody, Zevin here, You're about to hear my interview with television writer and producer Laura Jackman, and she's going to tell you an incredible story from her own life, a story of teenage hijinks, lust, and vampire wannabees in the American Midwest. But before we get started, I wanted to share with you that Laura is an active member of the Writer's Guild of America and the Writer's Guild is on strike right now, So out of respect to her and the striking writers, I want to make a couple things clear.

0:36 First, this interview was recorded in September twenty twenty two, long before the writer's strike began on May second of this year. And second, Kind of Murdery stands in solidarity with the writers and wishes them well. And with that, let's start the show. I'm Zevan Odelberg, and this is kind of Murdery. Please join me as we uncover what truths we can and solve what mysteries we may. Kind of Murderies Ohio High School Vampire Party with Laura Jackman starts. Now, Hey, everybody, I'm stoked because I have a phenomenal human with me here today.

1:20 She's a woman who's craft and ability is frankly luminescent, a true triple threat, a playwright, a video game writer, a television writer, known for such projects as The Tiger King inspired Peacock's series, Joe Versus, Carol Grayson, Frankie get Shorty, Walking Dead, video Games, Minecraft Story Mode, and so much more. Honestly, she has so many impressive credits that I would have cottonmouth by the time I ended up listing them all. A true tower of talent. Laura Jackman is here. Hey, Laura, how are you doing?

1:50 Hey good? How are you? I am well? I am well, Thank you so much for joining me here today. Happy to be here. All right, Well, let's let's hop right into it. You know, this show is called a kind of murdering and one of the things I like to do. And if you're willing, is there a kind of murdery story from the wife of the real life of Lord Jackman that you could share with us? There is? There is, so I grew up in Shakerheads, Ohio, which is, you know, like a suburb of Cleveland. So it's northeast Ohio, relatively city e suburby.

2:25 But a lot of Ohio is not like that. A lot of Ohio is you know, cow country or middle of nowhere or you know, not so much going on. So this is in the late nineties. I'd say, I don't remember if I was a freshman or a sophomore, and I had a crush on a goth barista named Gabe who worked at the coffee shop at the booksellers at Pavilion Mall Rip Booksellers. By the way, I feel like you're doing the voice over for the very opening scenes of a Wonder Years esque television show about your own life. As soon as you said I had a crush on a goth barista named Gabe, I'm like, I am so there for this for this show.

3:11 I don't think tonally this could end up on Wonder Years, but we're going to do our best. Um. So I found out that Gabe was going to be at a Halloween party thrown by mutual friends, and like friends are sort of in quotation marks, so I had a lot of friends who were a few years older than me, because my sisters are most things in middle school, right. Oh yeah, so my sister was you know, she was either junior or senior. I was a freshman or sophomore. Um, okay, so early high school. So early high school.

3:47 Um, not quite as scandalous, right, but I was fundamentally you know, a dork. You're in the nineties. You're like drinking the top inch off for parents who did drink, right, you're drinking the top inch off their liquor bottles. Oh yeah, you're smoking the ditchiest of ditchweed. Um. You know, Yes,

4:08 you're from California, so maybe you're Oh I'm well know because I'm from I'm from the middle of the woods, cow country, California, so I'm right there with you. Yeah, I mean, maybe our weeds a little better, but the rest of that is spotting hopes. I don't know the origin of that stuff, but yeah, it was not great. Um. So we found out that that Gabe was going to be at this party, and this party was out in Hinckley, Ohio, middle of nowhere. Right, you can you can tell from the name Hinkley. Um, this this senior, I think he was a senior at that point, so he was gonna be there, and I was like, okay, so somebody we know is going to be there.

4:49 The party was thrown. I think I want to use their regular names because I don't know their last names, right. Party was thrown by this older couple, so they were probably like what twenty for named David and Michelle. Yeah, I mean, of course I was immediately picturing like blue hairs in their seventies when you said older couple is now a forty been wilder. But the thing about David and Michelle was that they had a certain reputation as real life vampires. And let me explain that. So wow, I am loving this.

5:19 By the way, you get so many, so many Brownie points for bringing the real life vampire high school circu Clawweed story to the show. So I hung out with a certain crowd. They were famous because they had been featured in a book, an actual published book that I remember reading in the aisles at Borders Books, Rip Borders Books, and I don't remember the name of the book. I don't remember, but it was sort of like, these people are part of a community of people who believe that they are vampires, and what that means is is that they do ritualistically drink blood from each other.

5:58 And I was like, oh my god, We're gonna go to a vampire's halloween. Barty, I'm down. This is Did your parents know that this is where you were going? Certainly not? Certainly not so my sister at the time. I don't remember why she didn't want to go, or maybe she had stuff to do, but she was mad that I was going out. And at the time, we shared one pair of combat boots between us. Remember it was the nineties, but you both had to wear them because that was your style, each of you. And was your sister older or younger older two two and a half years older, So basically you stole her combat boots.

6:37 That would be her position on this. Politely, I said, I want to wear the boots tonight and she said no, and I said, why not, you're staying it, I'm going out. I want the boots. They were from nine West, by the way. These were not like docks. These were you know what I mean, right, You could sort of play them off as combat boots, but they were like just boots leather. Um. Yeah, I our rooms, our bedrooms were across the hall from each other, and as I was sort of haranguing her, I had my hand sort of on the outside edge of her door frame.

7:12 As I was yelling at her. She was like, fine, I'll give you the boots, and she slammed her door, sort of having that torque effect of several of my fingers in the door, so it like pulled the skin away from the nails. I scream, Yeah, it was not great, was it? Did You were your fingers in the crack. They were in the crack, so it was like, oh my gosh, lucky they didn't get severed off. I mean, well, they weren't quite that far in, but it hurt, like how oh my god. Yes, I was screaming and crying whatever.

7:42 But of course I was like, I still want to go to this party. You know, I'm fourteen or fifteen. I want to go to this party. Right, You're gonna just gonna take a lot more than losing a few fingers to stop you from going to the real life vampires Halloween blood drinking party in Ohio. Ye, So you know, I iced it. I told my mom, I'm fine, I'm fine. I put on the combat boots, and the plan was we were gonna go over to our friend Tony Barry's house, who was also an incredibly cool goff because her mom was chill.

8:13 And when were you off at this point? Were you like makeup and pouting in the whole deal? I was not all the way, but I was, Oh God, you have to remember, this is a time when, like, I mean, you were the same age. So um, I definitely was. On my first day of freshman year, I had bleached my hair blonde over the summer, which infuriated my father. I was wearing long fake nails that I had painted black. I was wearing this. I was wearing like all black flare. You know, I wasn't all black whatever. I didn't do like the pale makeup because I'm pretty pale to start with.

8:50 That's already applied naturally by God. Yeah, but no, I mean my freshman year yearbook pick, I'm wearing like copper lipstick. I mean it's hideous. It's hideous. It's funny because I mean, I must have met you software year or something in because to me, you look like you have not aged a day. You look exactly as I recall you in college spirit kind of you. Yeah, I wanted to be seen as older, I wanted to be seen as mature, and I thought that all black would help with that, you know, and having crushes on goth bristas.

9:24 So we get to Tony's house and the plan is like, we're going to borrow her clothes because she had cooler goth clothes than we did. She had the full Wednesday atoms in the closets, the whole thing, the ripped fish nets, the fish net gloves, the black lipsticks, the all this stuff nice. So we get all dressed up and the plan was is the cover story was we're sleeping over at her house, but in reality, we're going to go out to this party that's an hour away. You know, it's funny because, as you say, the plan was we're sleeping at her house.

9:55 It makes me think of stranger things and how these kids are like busy saving the world and almost dying on a daily basis, and the parents are just so blissfully oblivious to what's actually going on. Fast forward to now where everyone, at least everyone I know, including my wife and I are some version of a helicopter parent who practically has like an elf on the shelf, like glued into their children's clothing and not. But but it makes me think, like trainer things is a lot more accurate than I think it is watching as a parent, because you're absolutely right.

10:29 When we were kids, you could just be like, mom, dad, I'm going to blahla la la, I'll be back well and they'd be like okay, bye, oh yeah, oh yeah no. And you you know, as a teenage girl you had to get so creative because you couldn't kiss boys at the parents house, right, so you quickly learned. You were like, well, if it's the winter, there's a there's a little what do you call a little gazebo at the nature center that they can't see from the road, or they're is this church parking lot that you can go and park at.

11:02 Yeah, and your parents are just kind of like, did you have a nice time, And you're like, uh huh going upstairs, Huh, everything's fine. It's so funny that you mentioned that, because yes, absolutely had. We had our own gazebos. It was actually duck blinds. At the nature preserve. There was a bird sanctuary that was actually, of course the water treatment plant, and that was one of the few places you could go walking with someone and eventually achieve a modicum of privacy. So I love how you know here.

11:32 I am California, you're in Ohio. But we're the same age and had roughly the same childhood, it sounds like. So that's wonderful, even with the gender difference. That everything absolutely and usually I got caught at almost everything, but this party I did not get caught. So we drive the hour out to Hinckley. It's cold, right, because in Ohio often it's it's snowing the week that's freezing atween West. Yeah, So we drive out there and we get to what is a pretty normal suburbany house and I kind of walk in and so I did know four total people there, right.

12:10 I knew Tony, I knew my friend Kat, I knew this other guy who was the mutual friend, and I knew Gabe a little bit, although I think Gabe was like not there for a big chunk of the party. So it's an immediate disappointment when you're a crush does not show at the place they're supposed to be. The babe was the babe with his long black hair. Um, so you know, I'm trying to hang at this party. I am historically unable to hang. Um, that has been just the story. I mean the number of college stories I could tell you about trying to punch above my weight and just um, just be cool and still, and the number of blunt passing competitions with ten dudes passing four blunts around and me being like I can hang and falling asleep in a pizza place and being escorted home by consoles.

13:03 Um cannot hang. So I quickly realize, oh, everyone's drinking at this party. And I was still, you know, nervous and fourteen or fifteen, but I was like, oh, but they do have something that is liquor, but not which is BlackBerry brandy? Right, which is any of those things? It's like kool aid with alcohol in it. So I start drinking BlackBerry brandy. I am not long for this party because two things,

13:33 all that sugar, all that you know, probably empty stomach. You know, there's like Cheetos at the party, something like that. Um. I check their fridge because I'm looking for something that's not BlackBerry brandy to drink, and I check the freezer and in the freezer again, I'm sure that this is like, you know, some pretentia, you know, because they're vampires, right. They literally had blood in the freezer. They had very like bags of blood zip black bags labeled frozen. You know, obviously, like now that I'm older, I can be like, oh, this is like this affectation of theirs that this is not like pretty horrifying though, either any way you slice it, whether it's an affectation or not.

14:21 I mean you're like, I'm looking for a non alcoholic drink and my options are Type O negative or AB positive. Yeah. Great, Yeah, so that was unsettling. And then Tony, because this is pretty cell phone right, So Tony, we've been at the party a little while, Tony calls her mom to check in. Except Tony's mom says, hey, so Laura's mom called. She's worried about her because remember, by the way, I'm in some stupid all black ensemble plus a massive bandage around three of my fingers because they got fourteen years old basically, and I'm yeah, I'm yeah.

15:02 Son. Tony's mom is like, her mom is going to pick her up at midnight, and we were like, fuck, oh my god, we're an hour away in Hinckley and it's already like ten thirty. So did Tony's mom know that you guys were at the party. I mean, you were supposed to be at Tony's house, but they're to Okay, Tony's parents were cool. They were chill. They were chill. They knew the whole deal. They knew the deal. And and you know, she was a couple of years older than I was, so they were chill. Ironically, you know, the chill parents make me feel like you guys were much safer than I felt a moment ago, like, even though other parents might disapprove the fact that there were a set of adults that actually knew where you guys were and what you were up to, like few.

15:43 By the way, your audio has gotten not mine, but your audio has gotten weirdly distorted. Oh you know, I think, um, I think that I was just getting excited and leaning forward and moved away from my MIC. Is better. It's like buzzy, I didn't know if that was I wanted to warn you. Okay, Well, the good news is most of the worthwhile things being said are being said by you, and I can always adr my own stuff, So let's just keep going along. This is a wonderful story. By the way, I have to say I mean, you're you're such an accomplished storyteller.

16:19 I suppose I should have had, you know, massive expectations, but you've just blown me away with how incredible this story I was not expecting, like real life frozen Ohio vampires with refrigerators full of blood, severed fingers. This, I mean, this couldn't get any better or any more murdery. So please you find out you're about to get caught by your mom for being at the Vampire Covin got it. So all of a sudden, we're making the calculus, which is it's going to take an hour to get home. She's peaking me up at midnight.

16:56 It's already like, you know, ten thirty something, right, And just at this point was when Gabe arrived, and very quickly it turned into you know, they were going to a bunch of people were going to go out and play. I don't know, if you know now it's something that you would call LARPing. Right at the time, it might have just been just live action role playing for anyone who's actually cool listening to this. So maybe it was Eiven like there is like a the Vampire larp, or maybe it was something more casual than that.

17:27 Probably Anne Rice. If this was the nineties, I'm sure it was Anne Rice related, I would guess definitely. So I was like heartbroken because Kat was like, no problem, I'll drive you back and then I will drive back to the party. Because when you're like in seventeen, Yeah, when you're seventeen in Ohio, it's like you have nothing else to do, right, then drive forty miles and then forty miles again. Right. So I'm like saying my goodbyes and I'm super bummed because my crush just got there, but nothing's going to happen.

17:57 I'm also like, again, fourteen, so what And by the way, have you up to this point have you had any interactions with Gabe that have made you optimistic about your your prospects here or is it just pure fantasy that somehow he was going to sweep you up into his undead arms and vampire kiss you into the night. I feel like there had been several run ins at the bookstore where it's like, you know how when you're a teenager and you encounter someone and you order a drink and they're nice to you, You're like, we have a connection.

18:31 This is this is and I think I did ask for his number, Like I think I did have his number, so it wasn't completely based on false hope. There was something so Laura. I think when you say when you're a teenager, you're saying that because you're a woman. I just want to give you a little insight into the male psyche. Please. The way we work is, anytime any female is even remotely polite to you, speaks, smiles, says hello, you're like, oh my god, she loves me. She wants me bad. So men never grow out of that false hope presumption phase, which is why so many of us are like weird, creepy jerks, because we're like, oh, if you treat me like a human being, you must be in love with me, because I only treat people that I'm in love with like human beings.

19:24 So yeah, accurate, accurate. So you know I was in love with him, and who knows, I will never know how Gabe really felt. Well, something does happen that we'll give you some indication. So I'm saying, mikeabyes at his party, I'm drinking BlackBerry brandy and David, remember David, one of the vampires, one of the real life vampires, one of the real life vampires. So another thing I had found out was that they have an open relationship. Now in twenty twenty two, I know more people who are like, that's our deal, and I'm like, go with God, that's that works for you.

19:59 Have fun with that.

20:02 Back in the nineties, this was not a This was not really a thing that I necessarily understood or believed or whatever. Even now, I think it rarely works out. I mean, one of those doors is usually far more open than the other one. Let's put it that way. It seems to be the case again for folks who it works for. Great awesome. Yea. So David starts chatting me up and saying, it's that sucks, like we just got to you, we're getting to know you, and I'm so sorry you have to leave the party, and I'm so you' that man, that hand that looks really bad, that's so bad.

20:36 That must have given you some goth street cred. The injury, the bandages, I mean, you would think, but you're you just look like you're wrapped in toilet paper with your bandage stuffs. So, by the way, is David how one of the is he underage? Like you or is he a full on adult chatting you up. It's a full on adult. Again. It's the nineties, right, so what I'm about to tell you can be cushioned a little by the fact that it is the nineties. But what David does when he says I'll let me hug you goodbye, is instead he goes for a full, open mouthed kiss, right, And in my shock, I drop the glass of BlackBerry brandy, which shatters all over the suburban basement floor, which in retrospect is a very good defense mechanism when you're like, I'm being kissed by a vampire, and that's can sign up for that.

21:32 I'm not a trauma vampire pedophile standards today. Yeah, it's hilarious. Maybe it's because I grew up then, but I don't feel like the nineties was that long ago, and like he shouldn't have been open mouth kissing a fifteen year old girl in the basement. I don't disagree with you. I do not disagree with you, hence my shock, right right. But also I got my revenge because some of the broken glass got him. And also I think I ruined his vampire pants a little bit because BlackBerry Brandy stands nice, and you might have peaked Gabe's interest even more if you know, if we'd got out that the host vampire was slot into me.

22:09 Yes, it was into the fifteen year old. So you know, we leave, Kat and I leave, We drive back home. I'm weirdly exhilarated because I did sneak out to a party, get home, never get caught. My mom picks me up at midnight, suspects nothing, neverthewiser. She never found out. A Monday at school, I find out after I left, Gabe hooked up with my friend Tony. And I wait, the friend that you went there with explicitly to try to get with Gabe? Yes, that be I know I was. I was very sad, but also she was so cool.

22:48 They had matching clothes and hair I could not. So did you just kind of feel like it was inevitable? Like were you mad at Tony about this? Or were you just like ash? She always gets the voice, Oh not really, you're just your semi heartbroken and then you're like, what about that boy in my English class? And okay, so you remain friends with Tony after this? I did, and then she graduated and then I stopped being a goth and you know, but I'll always have that vampire party in Hinkley, Ohio. That's an amazing story and amazing memory.

23:17 I have to ask you now, as far as the the guy who open mouth kissed you all of a sudden, much to your shock, do you is that a traumatic memory or did it kind of make it mean? There might even more awesome I imagine? Right, So it's weirdly sort of in between where when you are fourteen or fifteen, any person showing interest in you, when you're so full of you're just like vibrating with like, will somebody like me? And will somebody you know? Is a little bit bolstering. But also it was not something that I could pretend to be cool with R and then instantly and then instantly, even though he had been oh my god, he's a vampire and he's so cool and this is his house party, instantly you're kind of like, uh, you're one of those.

24:09 So then he just stops being cool, and then you just realize, oh, you're just a creep. You're just a creep with a wife and blood Fraser who tried to right, Yeah, right, And that's something I'm glad you were able to instantly realize that it speaks to your maturity and intelligence. I feel like when I was in high school, there were always like the hot, cool, mature girl who was somewhere between like a junior or a senior, who inevitably had and again, like you said, the nineties, inevitably had like a thirty year old boyfriend who went to junior college and she was hot and cool, but he was such a loser who This is an archetype that kept repeating in life, and you always want to say to those fifteen sixteen year old girls, like, look, he's with you because he literally cannot get women his own age.

25:06 He lives in his mother's basement and he's fishing with dynamite because of what you just describe, which is at that age, what did you say, you're you're vibrating with somebody? Please like, like say it again. I don't want to put words in your mouth. But that was so smart on yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So that's that's the thing, right. No, it's a horror story you as a dad, to you as a dad, that's a horror story. To me. Absolutely, I was like this is this is this is a story and that's the thing. I think.

25:37 Even at that point, I was like, this whole night is just so wild and again, nothing super you know, it's not like the plot of Book Smart. It's not like super Bad. But for me, I was like, well, this is as good as it guess. Yeah. Well, and you know, any kind of edgy experience like that that doesn't in d horribly generally ends up being a good memory, because I mean, what are our lives about a collection of stories, you know, and what a fantastic story that is. But yeah, to your point, as a father, I'm sitting here thinking like, some guy just put some guy who drinks human blood for fun, just put his open mouth all over my daughter's face.

26:20 Yep, yep. Yes, Oh what a story. Wow. That was one of the best, if not the best guest kind of murdery story we have ever had on this show. I'm so glad, Laura, thank you so much for being here with me today. I've had such a blast. I know our listeners are going to really enjoy it. Like I said, that story you just told was off the charts good and I just really appreciate you taking the time to connect with me here today on a kind of murdery. You're so welcome was so much fun, awesome for Laura Jackman.

26:52 I'm Zevan Odelberg and this has been kind of murdery.